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Vetted by Dr Jasmin Rajesh, MBBS, MD (Ped.) on 21 Jun, 2022
Father helping with the baby duties

Help and Husband: Supporting Partners in the Baby Duties

Accept that commotion and chaos are unavoidable with a new baby in the house. New mothers are often overwhelmed by the never-ending baby duties—nappy changes, feedings, putting their baby to sleep—as well as the housework. Mommies work round the clock to keep their homes clean and their babies happy. Trying to handle everything on their own can lead to exhaustion and resentment. A little help from the husband with the baby is always appreciated!

How to get your husband to help more at home? 

Parenting a little one is a full-time job. As a new mother, you may have the urge to stop doing all the work and take a nap. But sometimes that feels impossible as you have a house to run and a baby to look after. You will, however, be able to manage everything efficiently with the support of your husband. Here's how to go about it:
  • Ask for help. Talk to your husband about your concerns. Discuss how you could both share the housework and baby duties so that you have more time for yourself and each other.
  • Add the father to the BabyG app so they have a ready program to spend quality time with the baby. This will enhance their bonding and help the baby’s mental and physical communication skills as well as emotional growth.
  • With the father’s help, decide on and distribute the workload. Create a schedule and allocate the responsibilities. Discuss it ahead of time for the upcoming week.
  • Take turns caring for your little one. Endless baby duties can be exhausting for couples, so make a schedule that allows both of you to rest and care for your child.
  • Appreciate and support his efforts. A simple thank you can demonstrate that you recognise and value the father's help.
  • With the baby duties, work as a team. Find common ground in your parenting styles and work collaboratively to raise your child as best you can.

Sharing responsibilities will reduce stress, maintain a fair balance at home, and allow you and your partner to spend quality time together, which can be difficult with a newborn in the house.

How to assign baby duties and make your husband interested in childcare?

As a result of having carried their little one within them for nine months and having gone through the arduous process of giving birth, most mothers feel an instant and natural attachment to their baby. However, it may not be as easy for fathers to bond with their babies. Start the bonding process early if you want your husband to participate equally in child care.

Make your partner a part of your pregnancy and encourage him to accompany you to all check-ups and classes. It is important that your partner bonds with the baby even before they are born.

Allow your husband to be alone with the baby at times so he can practice caring for the newborn on his own. If the baby begins to cry, give him the freedom to figure out how to soothe the child on his own. Do not be around them the whole time. Take a break and give your husband time to perfect his role as a father.

Allow your husband to support you with your baby's daily care.. Make him in charge of bedtime activities such as brushing, cleaning, nappy/diaper changing, and so on. This will be a huge help to you and a wonderful opportunity for your husband to bond with the baby.

You should encourage your partner to read, sing, and bathe the child. Also, during regular activities, let them wear the baby in a front baby carrier.

When it comes to babies' needs, mothers have a sixth sense. However, fathers may require more time to bond with their children. Involving your partner in your baby's duties and care will not only reduce your workload but will also give your husband confidence in managing the baby on his own. Remember that parenting is a team effort, not a one-person job!

 

References:

  1. Positive Parenting. Sharing responsibilities
  2. The Center for Parenting Education. Partners in parenting
  3. KidsHealth. Bonding with your baby [2018]. 

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